Incredibly Fragile, Incredibly Strong
by courtneypanda
Summary: As Jane Shepard struggles to get rid of her feelings for Kaidan, she is also struggling to convince the world that the Reapers are coming. One thing is for sure, everyone will believe her when they finally invade. Kaidan/FemShep/Garrus :


**I don't own Mass Effect...if only. I'm really excited about this story. I just wanted to upload it to see how people like the beginning. Thanks!**

**Chapter 1: Celebrating the Impossible**

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><p>Afterlife is a shithole, Shepard finalized in her mind as she downed a shot of Ryncol and felt the burn of the cool liquid slide down her throat. Shepard's calm, purple eyes slid over the scene in front of her.<p>

She was at the head of the table that she and her crew were crowded around. Across from her was Kelly Chambers, the small red-headed therapist/assistant. Her face was flushed from too much alcohol as she clung to the edge of the table and Jacob's muscled arm.

Kasumi, the closest to the wall and hidden in the corner's shadows, was on the other side of Jacob, noticeably admiring his physique. Shepard smiled as another shot of alcohol went down her throat. She remembered Kasumi and Kelly both talking to her about their interest in Jacob. However, even though Jacob seemed to be talking to Kelly and Kasumi, his eyes kept glancing up at Miranda, who was trying to quiet Mordin from his sudden inspiration to sing.

As Shepard's eyes glazed over from the fifth or sixth shot of Ryncol, she saw Grunt, Zaeed, and Jack in some sort of fist fight to her right. To her left, Garrus, Tali, and Joker were in fit of laughters while sloshing their drinks around on the table and Thane and Samara were discussing something that needed close proximity.

It wasn't until she heard, "Shepard-Commander," did she remember Legion was with them all too, celebrating the victory of destroying the Collector's base and saving the galaxy...again.

Shepard turned her head to the side, acknowledging that she heard Legion. Shepard usually had her hair pulled up, out of her face, as she fought. But tonight everyone had let their hair, in the general sense, since turians, asari, drells, geth, and quarians (for all we knew), didn't have hair. As she turned, her long black hair whipped in the opposite direction.

"We don't understand the organic fascination with self-poisoning, auditory damaging, or sexually transmitted diseases." Legion mechanically commented about Afterlife.

"It's the danger," Shepard hummed in content.

"Danger probabilities are high, that is correct."

Just as she was about to offer that Legion could leave, Thane raised his glass and everything seemed to buzz around Shepard.

"To Shepard. The only woman in the galaxy who can survive a suicide mission with zero odds of survival." Thane toasted.

"I'll drink a whole fucking bottle of vodka for that!" Jack yelled across the table and started to down the bottle in front of her. Everyone hastily followed suit, drinking the drink they were cradling. Shepard raised her glass and before she could drink, Kelly yelled, "Speech!" Shepard would have to talk to Kelly about not saying speech when people were drunk when they both sobered up.

Slowly standing up, she raised her glass, "We destroyed the base. Told the Illusive Man where to stick it and," she paused to look at her diverse crew, "my crew survived it all."

Just as she was about to sit down, a memory shocked her brain. A memory that she has seen countless times before that made her happy and sad at the same time. But right now it made her mad. The memory of Kaidan's face.

She jumped back up, "And you know what? Screw the past! Screw the Council, who doesn't believe us! Screw the Illusive Man who is trying to control us! What we did tonight...only we could do. We don't need anyone breathing down our necks with regulations. We are going to finish this fight with the Reapers. Just us." She downed her ninth shot and threw the glass across the table causing it to crash against the wall that Kasumi was in front of; just barely missing her. Shepard kicked the chair out from under her and stormed out of Afterlife.

She knew that Miranda was going to send someone after her to make sure she was alright, but at that moment she hoped that Miranda wouldn't.

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><p>What Shepard believed to be a memory suddenly materialized in front of her and she didn't know if subconsciously she knew he was here and that's what triggered the memory of his face.<p>

Before she could stop it, her breath escaped her lungs, resulting in a small gasp.

"Shepard," was all he said as his dark brown eyes stared down at her. She was forcing herself to stand right and act like she didn't even care that he was standing in front of her. But the alcohol was betraying her at the perfect moment.

"Kaidan," she acknowledged, desperately ignoring the pain in her needy voice. She was strong, she reminded herself.

"Nice speech. Like always," he stepped forward.

"I meant it," she responded slightly controlling her inebriation.

"I should hope so." He smiled. Shepard quickly turned away making sure she couldn't see his smile. She wouldn't be able to control herself. "So, I take it that you haven't read the message I sent you?" He asked darkly.

"I read it." She quickly interrupted as she started to control the direction of the conversation. She wasn't going to break, she repeated over and over again in her head.

"Shepard..." he sighed and her heart clenched miserably. This was not the best time to be having this talk. "You of all people should understand why I reacted the way I did. I fought with you," he reached out and touched her bare arm. It felt unnatural to Shepard, who wore armor ninety-eight percent of the time. It felt unnatural because Jane Shepard rarely let anyone touch her. "We saw those experiments Cerberus was working on."

"You of all people should of heard me out." She seethed, barely having the willpower to pull her arm out of his grasp.

"I'm listening now, Shepard!" Kaiden yelled frustrated.

"Well...I'm done talking," Shepard whispered, stepping back as she felt the full force of the Ryncol and the surroundings spun around her. Just then, Shepard felt a cool green hand on her arm and another on her lower back guiding her to their hotel. She briefly heard Garrus greeting Kaidan as "Alenko" before following behind them.

At times like these, she missed the Normandy, but while it was getting repaired they were crowded into one of Omega's many hotels under surveillance, of course, by Aria T'Loak.

Shepard didn't remember what happened after she hit the coarse pillow of the hotel's bed, but at that moment she really didn't care.


End file.
